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Hi!

Thank you very much for stopping by. My name is Jon Williams and I’m currently living my dream in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada.

I’ve been here for just over four years now, and am the middays guy at The Zone @ 91-3.

It’s been quite the journey to this point and where I am in my life right now is an extraordinarily busy, fulfilling adventure. Here’s a little bit about it.

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I have been very fortunate with regard to my upbringing. I was raised a gentleman. Manners and respect were key, further passion zest and applying them to ANYTHING I did was crucial.

As a kid I always felt such powerful spells of anxiety and self-doubt, then the next day I would zip around bugging people and seeking attention. What’s that all about? I would sleep so little for my brain would not shut down wondering why I was sad yet then had uncontrollable energy. Nap time = Jon is pretending to sleep. Meh, I’ll just keep it to myself. I can deal with me plus I get a biscuit upon “waking up”.

“We live in a throw away society. Everyone’s always looking for the next best thing without enjoying and utilizing fully what is in front of them”, Barry Williams.

My Dad it felt at times said that to me daily. Growing up of course I didn’t get it, I’m a rookie sheep yearning for the Nintendo 64 like the kids in the newspaper seemed to be enjoying playing.

Throughout school I was the try harder, seek better, but man is this difficult kinda guy. I built a reputation of being rather out there and some days would rattle off a thousand jokes and not one would be funny to anyone other than myself, I do crack myself up EVERY time. All the while however I was always trusted with tasks and held in esteem by teachers.

Whenever Dad drove me around he’d have Neil Diamonds “Beautiful Noise” cranked in the car, to this day one of my favourite albums. However one time he switched to Swindon’s GWR FM. A song finished followed by a  guy talking and then he introduced another song. “What is this!?” I asked excitedly. From that day it was my ultimate goal to be on the radio.

For what I think was my 10th Birthday, Mum invited my entire class to Seaworld. One day after school she gave me invitations and asked to hand them out. I had no idea what it was for. What an amazing birthday trip!

It was earlier that year that my elementary school, Crudwell; what a name by the way, look up the English slang word “Crud”…

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Anyway it was having some repairs done and we had an outhouse for bathrooms. I was using a urinal one afternoon when two men came in, turned me upside down and proceeded to try and drown me in the toilet. An already anxious at times young man, just become mortified of water. But only Mum knew about it. I would deal with it and move forward.

To this day I cannot swim but have conquered my fear of fully placing my head under water, which was two years ago. It doesn’t happen overnight, but man when you succeed at something it doesn’t half make you feel, gah I don’t think I can find the word.

At senior school with my thick rim glasses and oversized clothes I got beaten, thrown off a 20ft bridge, locked in cupboards I was too big for, yet all the while would become a prefect and head of near eighty young men in a boarding house.

They NEVER changed me, those relentless bullies. I’ve had the same face and personality since the day I could talk, but due to some days feeling so worthless meant I was a walking target. I just thought life was tough and if you didn’t take a hit or two then how would you feel pain. After all maybe the universe was awarding it to me several years later, all those days feeling glum and miserable as a kid for no reason now essentially had one.

My script was written in advance and my life was catching up with it?

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I always felt like my parents were struggling at work with regard to the family business. In my mid teens it was over, the house up for sale and my brother sister dogs parents and whatever we had left over moved into the two bed apartment above my Aunt’s garage as we left my hometown of 16 years for pastures new. It didn’t really upset me as I never felt at home there. I hadn’t clicked with anyone, honestly I wasn’t to worried about having friends, I’m almost certain that’s why Mum invited my whole class to Seaworld…

As I matured however I discovered that by becoming fearless and saying those jokes louder, emitting an aura of confidence and strength set me in greater stead and the bullies didn’t seem interested. But it was mentally so hard to not understand why one day I could be strong head up Jon and others simply fell flat on my face at it.

I drank a lot mid teens, straight vodka or tequila. Desperate to sleep and for my mind to turn off. If I had been caught my school life would have been over, I was too good at keeping secrets. I would definitely say looking back I led two lives. Even up until now I still feel this is minutely the case.

After finishing school I was offered the chance to be a Media Studies teaching assistant at the very place I graduated. I was there for two years and I felt that the confidence of my craft grew to the extent that univercity was a waste of money and time. I’d leave after two years and continue my chase of getting behind a microphone.

Despite finding school hard it was in my last year I made some life long friendships. I miss them dearly. But I have a burning fire within me to succeed in radio and here I am in Canada chasing it. Why? No one would hire me, no degree just passion wasn’t going to cut it. When the armed forces didn’t reply to my offer to go to Afghanistan to do troop radio for free that was it, cheerio for now England. For with my school job savings I backpacked Canada a few years before and in turn fell in love with B.C.

901976_698479196851691_724792694_oSo what’s the relevance of all I’ve just shared?

Bi-polar disorder is a mental illness. Individuals with bipolar experience episodes of an elevated or agitated mood known as mania, alternating with episodes of depression. Essentially one minute I’m on top of the world, the next I’m not sure I want to be on it any longer.

For my family it was quite something to learn of recently in my 26th year. The thing is I just felt that with everything happening to my family, the last thing they needed back then was me to further worry about. I simply HAD to find a way to keep going. Yes I went to the doctor in secret and was on medication for several years, but five ago I chose to end it. I was selective of what my family knew. When I had to wear a heart monitor for a week a few years ago it was a tad tricky to hide you know.

At this point I would like to stress that EVERYONE is different, some of you reading this may indeed also have bi-polar. I have made a decision to not be under the influence of certain medications. I have my reasons and also my vision of staying in the moment and as happy as I can be at all times.

I used to cry for hours on end every few weeks. It was how I’d come about releasing that side of me that my coworkers and even best friends were not aware of at the time. In fact in telling someone I love very much he simply did not believe me, “I’ve never seen that side of you mate, I don’t see it”.

That hurt, a lot. It was frightening to tell him in the first place and then because of how well I’d hidden this side of me its not believable? I wanted to crumble. But upon letting it digest and discussing it the next day he apologised and realised how hard it must have been for me to say. I don’t hold it against him.

I’m not sharing this to cause a fan fare, I’m doing it because here I am living my dreams with a career where I can help people. I am not a cookie cutter radio creator; I seek to challenge myself and those that listen every show. Engage and curate positivity whilst learning something new each day.

In the last two years I have made HUGE strides with my mental health and now am ready to share and help (Best I can) ANYONE whom is willing to reach out.

So, I always laugh at my own jokes because they’re funny! But I also do this to keep myself smiling. I used to do a lot of stand up, the laughs made me feel I did have a purpose on this world.

When you really want something you have to work for it, keep knocking at the metaphorical door. Someone will eventually open it, but when they do don’ t take what’s on the inside for granted.

You can achieve whatever you want to and whilst my case is absolutely different to others we over lap. With that I’m telling you NOTHING stands in your way of making your dreams reality.

One thing that has really helped me is the day I bought a little notepad, one big enough to fit in your pocket comfortably. My old roommate Brandon suggested we take note of the crazy jokes we made organically in conversation or any stand out funny observations to thus note down.

What that meant was that a book full of ONLY positive energy was with me at all times. When that flick switches and I start to feel my body and mind turn I look in that book. I close my eyes and put myself back in that moment, the laughter, and tears of joy. I’m not saying it 100% does the trick, but gosh does it help.

Thank you for reading and please don’t feel sad for me. My life journey has helped create someone I’m really rather fond of…ME! I won’t give up, I won’t rest on my laurels and dreams whilst helping and bringing light to others. This is not something that will defeat me, simply as I won’t let it.

If you are reading this, know you’re my friend and that I’m here for you ALWAYS.
x

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